WHEN PPLE GO PSYCHO… SOMETIMES U JUST FEEL LIKE U SHOULD BE ABLE TO B**** SLAP SOME SENSE INTO THEM
Drake was caught with gay porn
In this never before seen television clip.
In Drake’s defense he was playing a character, but it is still funny as hell…
I looked above the other day
Cuz I think I’m good and ready for a change
I live my life by the moon
If it’s high play it low, if it’s harvest go slow and if it’s full, then go
But after midnight morning will come
And the day will see if you’re gonna get some
JOKE LOL
A wife asked her huband to discribe her, he looked at her then said your’re A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K
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his wife ask what does that mean?
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he said Adorable, Beautifu,l Cute, Delightfu,l Elegan,t Foxy, Gorgeous, & Hot
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she smiled and said oh thats so sweet but what about I, J, K
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he said Im Just Kidding
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hahahaha
JOKE
A husband and wife were setting up a password for their new computer the husband puts “mypenis” and the wife fell on the floor laughing because its said “Error, Not Long Enough”
One day a sweet little girl becomes puzzled about her origin. “How did I get here Mommy?” she asks. Her mother replies using a well worn phrase “Well God sent you Honey.” “And did God send you too Mommy?” she continues. “Yes Sweetheart he did.” “And Daddy and Grandma and Grandpa and their moms and dads too?” “Yes Honey all of them too.” The child shakes her head in disbelief. “Then you’re telling me there’s been no sex in this family for over 200 years? No wonder everyone is so grouchy!”
PARTY COMMANDMENTS/PARTY ISSUES
Im tired of the same ass, lame ass overpriced late nights…
Terrible, horrible, no space inside…
Ass smellin, axe smelling, weave smelling, weed smelling…
House parties, hall parties, no enough guyz!!!…
Having whack DJs playing the same whack songs
Having ignit ass people who be singing along
Making fight nights, bang bang shoot em up parties
Where I see the same people all the time, im sorry
But im tired of these whack ass parties
Dudes dancing with dudes and we call that shufflin& jerking
Girls dance with girls cuz there’s no guys they wanna dance with or guys r 2 shy 2 ask I mean why do u even go if ur just gunna be staring at everybody like wtf…
My main objective is to get holler by a bunch of guys
But you cant hear a word that they saying am I right!?!?!?
And it’s prolly like 20 other chicks that tried
To get at the same guy that you danced with for one song
And for that one song, dudes is bumping into you
Stepping on your shoes, messing up your whole mood
But see some females, be loving the whole club scene
Cuz thirsty ass dudes boost their self esteem
And if I do get a number im just praying like please
Don’t let that dude from last night be a beast
See the dark plays tricks on your eyes
So to see if you fine, I might use my phone as a flashlight
See im tired of going to the same ass spots
Where ignorant dudes get mad and bust shots
But low key, it all do be exciting
I made some good friends while I was ducking and hiding
See people come together when the guns come out
And your friends that act hard are the first running out
With gangbangers in the crowd, why in the hell would you make a lil jon song
I mean nigga anthems is wrong throw it up
Like, “throw yo sets up bitch, throw yo sets up ho
Throw yo sets up bitch, throw yo sets up ho”
And the next thing you know
Dudes R fighting, and girls don’t even know da guys n they are asking them for a ride home
And then my dumbass hit a party next week
with the same damn people from the one last week
So that’s it, im tired DAMMMIT!!!!
Imma make a party constitution, yea the party commandments
Number 1, don’t let your shit be whack!
Number 2 if it is whack give the money back…
Number 3 don’t have little people do security…
Number 4 have a mix of guys and girls…
Number 5 if the dj aint nice, boo him and stop dancing till he plays what u like…
Number 6 don’t have a party outside if it looks like a its gon rain that night…
Number 7 if its your friends pitch in, and make sure nothing in the house gets broken…
Number 8 don’t get too messed up, nobody wanna see somebody throwing up…
Number 9 have just a little bit of light,
enough to see if u were dancing with a cute dude or a BEAST
And number 10 if ya ass cant get in
don’t ruin it for everyone else and shoot it up with your friends!!
Now all who in favor, raise your right hand,
and don’t show no love at no whack shit again…AMEN =]
“Letter From The P.E.N.I.S!”
“Letter From The P.E.N.I.S!”
Dear Management,
I, the P.E.N.I.S hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
1- I do physical labor
2- I work at great depths
3- I plunge head first into everything I do
4- I do not get weekends or public holidays off
5- I work in a damp environment
6- I don’t get paid overtime
7- I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
8- I work in high temperatures
9- My work exposes me to contagious diseases
Dear P.E.N.I.S,
After assessing your request and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
1- You can not work 8 hours straight
2- You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
3- You do not always follow the orders of the management team
4- You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting
other locations
5- You do not take initiative — you need to be pressured and stimulated in
order to start working
6- You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
7- You don’t always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
wearing the correct protective gear
8- You will retire well before you are 65
9- You are unable to work double shifts
10- You sometimes leave your designated work before you have
completed the assigned task
11- And if that were not enough, you have been seen constantly entering
and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags
Sincerely,
The Management
